Trouble Abounds Me

I know that most of my posts are pretty dry and drab. I get that. I understand what a boring existence I live. But this will be the first time I have put this down on paper, and quite frankly I don't give a rat's ass if you find it boring or not. (Although, who truly knows who "you" is as no one but me reads this drivel!)

I've found me some really really delectable eye candy at work. But I'm afraid it's turning into more than a mere teenage crush from my end. If I don't see him for a day, I get pissy. If I haven't atleast heard from him in a day I get pissy. I haven't hit the jealous stage yet, but he told me yesterday that he broke up with his grilfriend the day before. I smile when I think of him. He's younger than me by about 5 years which I guess isn't much. I love his music...the angry screaming really head banger stuff. I love how in meetings he'll talk about little secret jokes that he and I have. I LOOOOOVE his new haircut where the grey pieces stick out and the rest is just spiky. I love the piercings and I crave to trace his tattoos with my index finger....

I long to pass him my cell number, my e-mail address....I desire so much :( I really would love to go have a beer with him, since I enjoy our smoke breaks so much. This is turning into an obsession and it's not good. I want so much that I won't write here, that I'm afraid to say/write.

This is not good. I fantasize....I dream....God only hopes I don't call Richard by the wrong name since my mind will not leave Tattoo Boy. I find reasons to go visit him, call him, e-mail him. And you know, he doesn't help this obsession. Showing up unannounced at my desk, calling me just to shoot the shit. Oh God. What am I going to do? At some point I'll make a big ass of myself and live to regret it forever. How would a good-looking, maniac of a guy ever think twice about me? I'm always the one to be pals with, to share a smoke with, to have a good laugh with. I hasten to even think about what I'd love to share with him. Oh......such unspoken thoughts.

For now I just replay the conversations, the e-mails and think of how nice it would be to have.....well, let's not go there. I have to get rid of this crush soon....it would never work anyway. But, holy shit, he's a fucking hottie!